So today was a day I wanted to post. Look at that. A day where I actually wanted to write something. But then I ran into a dilemma. I couldn't figure out what to write about...there were just soooo many things to say! So I guess you, lucky readers, with be able to read about all of them. Now, I am going to say that I will make this a short post because I need to get to bed, but reality is that it probably won't be short so you, anonymous reader, will just have to deaaaalll.
So. The thing that first sparked the need for a new blog post was the fact that I needed to document my amazing adult grilled cheese that I made for myself the other day. I wish I had pictures to show you, this thing was soooo good. The grilled cheese all began at the farmers market where I purchased yummy, delicious, $8 (yes, $8) pesto. I also purchased olive foccacia bread and fresh yummy vine tomatoes. All of this proceeded to be made into what I have decided to call "Adult Grilled Cheese." It's like that grilled cheese you used to eat with the crusts cut off and dipped in tomato soup. You know, like from elementary school. You'd eat it on days that were cool and rainy while watching Beauty and the Beast...well at least I did. Up until high school. Yum. Well, anyways, my adult grilled cheese consisted of all these farmers market ingredients piled high on top of the olive foccacia along with some Health Community Harvest bruschetta...YUM! OH, don't forget to broil it in the over for like 5-7 minutes. Then it's absolutely perfecto. Serve with some fresh apple cider (or beer, which ever you prefer) and voila! Beautiful, easy, yummy meal. Don't forget the Stewarts Ice Cream for dessert.
Second thing I wanted to mention was this whole idea of Walmart selling fair trade coffee. WHAT'S WIT THAT?! I mean, walmart is anything but fair trade. They don't even pay their employees enough to purchase health insurance without falling below the poverty line. Crazy. It's like McDonald's going organic.
NEXT! OH shit I forget...Hang on, it will come to me. AH YES! The Troy Bike Rescue. I went for the first time today and it is totally AWESOMEEEE!!!!!! YEAH! Like, I feel like I've talked about my bike and how important it is to me. Well, the Troy Bike Rescue (TBR for short) has confirmed to me that I am not a sole lunatic (or that I am one of many lunatics) obsessed with me bike! So I walk in about an hour after they started the session to see like tons of bikes and a bunch of people running around with wheels, bolts, wrenches, and greased up hands. YUM. Lets just say I was home! I felt slightly useless at first because I had no idea what to do or what I was doing. But then the head lady volunteer person hooked me up with this dude who was just like a wealth of knowledge. Not the best teacher, but he was lucky cuz I'm a visual learner anyways. This dude went through the names of all the different parts of the bike. I could lie and tell you that I remember them all, but who are we kidding. You must know me well enough at this point to know that I know nor can retain very little information. A lot of people there were first timers, some were people who wanted to adopt a bike, and others were like me. They just wanna learn! And learn I did. I could totally like take a bike and put it back together in no time. Not saying it would be better off that way...just that I can do it. I also feasted my eyes upon the MONSTER bikes. Or at least the really tall bikes. HUGE bikes that are two bike frames fused together so its super tall. Someday I'll get a pic up here. I feel there is more to tell you but it is late and I am getting tired so I will just leave you with the fact that its AWESOME and you should TOTALLY HIT IT UP.
I gave blood yesterday. First time ever. IRon is usually too low. This time it was at the minimum. Hell yeah. Took about 6 minutes. BOOM!
Talked with mom today. Love her. Argued of course. I'll talk more when I am less tired.
PEACE!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I Owe You
Shit, dude. Look at that. Two days in a row of posting...you should be proud of me. My dear anonymous readers. How have you been? You see I can ask that question, but you cannot answer me for you are somewhere, out there, in cyberland reading my question while I, forlorn blogger, sit miles away from you asking a question to which the answer I will probably never hear. For you see, you may answer that question, out there, where you sit in front of your computer. But I, master of the keys, do not care to hear it. It was a question, thrown out among the other words on this page, left up to be as important or unimportant as you deem them to be.
But I digress.
The real reason for my posting here tonight is far deeper then you may care to read, though I promise it is better then my NYC "Alone" post or any other attempt at being deep I have had over the past month or so. At this point it is actually past my self appointed bed time (whenever that may be) so writing out this post is actually important for helping me sort out my thoughts. And I am going to do it as quickly as possible so that I may go to sleep.
So. Today. At. Work. I.
Alright, I'm over that...
Today I was going through my normal business of arriving to work, locking up my bike, checking email, going on facebook, etc etc when I was overcome by this strange feeling of loneliness. Now, I am not going to lie. This strange feeling of loneliness stemmed from a bit of stalking I did on facebook. So perhaps it was a punishment for procrastinating when I should have been getting work done. But that is besides the point. While on facebook I came across some people who I had not see or spoken to since high school. People who had remained friends all through college and were now dating, living, traveling, or working together. They all seemed to be spreading their wings while maintaining close friendships. Seeing the world while being missed from home. And I miss that. I miss knowing people for years upon years in high school. Most of the people I had been friends with I have lost touch with in the years since college. I could probably count the number of people I am still in touch with on one, maybe two, hands. And this is not to say that those people I remain in touch with are sub par. Far from it, actually. In fact, the topic of straying from friends is not even what I wanted to address in this blog post. So let me get back to that...
Seeing what my friends from college were doing left me with this strange feeling of loneliness. But more then that. It was a feeling I could not place. It left me easily irritated and confused. I even teared up a bit. So not the usual me. I was left with this somewhat sour and irritated feeling nearly all day. I tried to laugh past it, as I do in most situations. I even tried to talk about it only to find that I had no idea what I was trying to say nor describe how I felt. It was not until I got home and was sitting with my roommates that I realized...I was trapped. It was a feeling of loneliness because I felt that I was stuck. Don't get me wrong. I love my life as an AmeriCorps VISTA. I love the people I've met and the place I work. I love my roommates and my apartment. However, I am trapped. Now let me tell you why I feel this way. I am trapped because this is not a place I pictured myself at the age of 22. To be honest, I never really pictured myself anywhere at 22...too many preconceptions and expectations come with that. But I definitely did not picture myself in a 9 to 5 job wearing professional clothes everyday and attending Professional Development Opportunities on public speaking and attending bi-weekly staff meetings. This is entirely too structured for a 22 year old like myself. Granted, I understand that this year will benefit me in my future. The issue is that at 22 I don't want to think about my future. I have been thinking about my future since I was in elementary school. And for once in my life I want to live in the now. I want to be as free as I can be in this point in my life before it become necessary for me to settle down and find a real job. I want to explore the world. I want to road trip across the United States and sleep in fields. I want to find odd jobs working at farms and in basements. I want to fix up a house. I want to do illegal things and not get caught. I want to run away from the police. I want to get mugged in another country. I want to fail at speaking a different language. I want to get fucked up and attend music festivals and not brush my hair and go weeks without showering. I want to get a tattoo and get piercings. I want to get lost and then find myself again. I want to live without rules and without expectations and without needs. I want tattered clothes that mean the world to me and and I want to live out of a back pack. I just want to live. Without being told how.
At 22 I want to be care free and free. The next time I will be a double number is when I am 33 and at that age I suppose I will have to have a real career, a home, and a family. But at 22 I don't need to have anything. And that is what I want. I want nothing. I just want to be.
I suppose I will get through this year. No. I don't suppose it, I know it. Because I have made a commitment and commitments I do not back up on. But I hope that maybe when I am 23 I can do these things. I can just be and just live and just do.
Til then don't be surprised if I attempt small random acts of rebellion or attempts at achieving this way of just being. For example: a nose or lip ring. Probably not acceptable at work, but what are they going to do? Fire me? Hell no. I'll just put a band aid on it or something. Maybe this weekend. I would also like to bike to Canada. Sometime...maybe over a vacation? I would also like to plan a road trip. Complete with sleeping backs and road map.
If you, anonymous reader, have any suggestions or would like to meet me somewhere along my journey, please make your desires known. For I would love company on my path of rebellion. Til then I suppose I will continue to fake it until I make it and hope that out of that I will be able to free myself. But for now I should go to sleep. Because I suppose it will be difficult to free myself when I lack sleep. I am sorry I do not have a quote to depart you with, but we'll leave it at an IOY.
Later, homes.
But I digress.
The real reason for my posting here tonight is far deeper then you may care to read, though I promise it is better then my NYC "Alone" post or any other attempt at being deep I have had over the past month or so. At this point it is actually past my self appointed bed time (whenever that may be) so writing out this post is actually important for helping me sort out my thoughts. And I am going to do it as quickly as possible so that I may go to sleep.
So. Today. At. Work. I.
Alright, I'm over that...
Today I was going through my normal business of arriving to work, locking up my bike, checking email, going on facebook, etc etc when I was overcome by this strange feeling of loneliness. Now, I am not going to lie. This strange feeling of loneliness stemmed from a bit of stalking I did on facebook. So perhaps it was a punishment for procrastinating when I should have been getting work done. But that is besides the point. While on facebook I came across some people who I had not see or spoken to since high school. People who had remained friends all through college and were now dating, living, traveling, or working together. They all seemed to be spreading their wings while maintaining close friendships. Seeing the world while being missed from home. And I miss that. I miss knowing people for years upon years in high school. Most of the people I had been friends with I have lost touch with in the years since college. I could probably count the number of people I am still in touch with on one, maybe two, hands. And this is not to say that those people I remain in touch with are sub par. Far from it, actually. In fact, the topic of straying from friends is not even what I wanted to address in this blog post. So let me get back to that...
Seeing what my friends from college were doing left me with this strange feeling of loneliness. But more then that. It was a feeling I could not place. It left me easily irritated and confused. I even teared up a bit. So not the usual me. I was left with this somewhat sour and irritated feeling nearly all day. I tried to laugh past it, as I do in most situations. I even tried to talk about it only to find that I had no idea what I was trying to say nor describe how I felt. It was not until I got home and was sitting with my roommates that I realized...I was trapped. It was a feeling of loneliness because I felt that I was stuck. Don't get me wrong. I love my life as an AmeriCorps VISTA. I love the people I've met and the place I work. I love my roommates and my apartment. However, I am trapped. Now let me tell you why I feel this way. I am trapped because this is not a place I pictured myself at the age of 22. To be honest, I never really pictured myself anywhere at 22...too many preconceptions and expectations come with that. But I definitely did not picture myself in a 9 to 5 job wearing professional clothes everyday and attending Professional Development Opportunities on public speaking and attending bi-weekly staff meetings. This is entirely too structured for a 22 year old like myself. Granted, I understand that this year will benefit me in my future. The issue is that at 22 I don't want to think about my future. I have been thinking about my future since I was in elementary school. And for once in my life I want to live in the now. I want to be as free as I can be in this point in my life before it become necessary for me to settle down and find a real job. I want to explore the world. I want to road trip across the United States and sleep in fields. I want to find odd jobs working at farms and in basements. I want to fix up a house. I want to do illegal things and not get caught. I want to run away from the police. I want to get mugged in another country. I want to fail at speaking a different language. I want to get fucked up and attend music festivals and not brush my hair and go weeks without showering. I want to get a tattoo and get piercings. I want to get lost and then find myself again. I want to live without rules and without expectations and without needs. I want tattered clothes that mean the world to me and and I want to live out of a back pack. I just want to live. Without being told how.
At 22 I want to be care free and free. The next time I will be a double number is when I am 33 and at that age I suppose I will have to have a real career, a home, and a family. But at 22 I don't need to have anything. And that is what I want. I want nothing. I just want to be.
I suppose I will get through this year. No. I don't suppose it, I know it. Because I have made a commitment and commitments I do not back up on. But I hope that maybe when I am 23 I can do these things. I can just be and just live and just do.
Til then don't be surprised if I attempt small random acts of rebellion or attempts at achieving this way of just being. For example: a nose or lip ring. Probably not acceptable at work, but what are they going to do? Fire me? Hell no. I'll just put a band aid on it or something. Maybe this weekend. I would also like to bike to Canada. Sometime...maybe over a vacation? I would also like to plan a road trip. Complete with sleeping backs and road map.
If you, anonymous reader, have any suggestions or would like to meet me somewhere along my journey, please make your desires known. For I would love company on my path of rebellion. Til then I suppose I will continue to fake it until I make it and hope that out of that I will be able to free myself. But for now I should go to sleep. Because I suppose it will be difficult to free myself when I lack sleep. I am sorry I do not have a quote to depart you with, but we'll leave it at an IOY.
Later, homes.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Ice Ice, Baby
Oh heyyyyyy!
It's been a while, has it not? I am sorry, anonymous readers, but I did give you fair warning. Take my lack of blogging as a good sign. It means that I am thouroughly enjoying myself, living life in the almost real world. I hope the same goes for you. Since I first began this blog I believe that my life has expanded and changed and I have learned so much about so many things. I have learned that procrastinating at work is as acceptable as procrastinating homework in college. I have learned that foodstamps are quite awesome and that I can eat like a king (or queen) on them. I have learned that there are chemicals in almost every product we use that can cause cancer and that I cant actually run 10 miles all at once, although I may not survive the next two days. And that is only the beginning of my mind expatiation...
It may please you to know that I am currently at my work site, writing this blog on my sites computer. Mainly because my computer at home is beyond slow. I wanted to come on and provide you, anonymous reader, with some links, books, and things that may be of interest to you...mostly because they are of interest to me:
Troy Bike Rescue: I plan on hitting up the learn and earn workshops...heeelllzz yeah!
Capital District Community Gardens
Troy Farmers Market
Democracy Now
Move On
Ishmael - the book I am reading now by Daniel Quinn...quite an interesting perspective
The Better World Handbook - don't know how much I trust the resources but a good place to start
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake - haven't actually started reading it yet but it looks cute and its for my work book club
Made some awesome apple crisp this past weekend. Emergency trip to the super market was necessary in order to purchase vanilla ice cream (food stamps were utilized). I also purchased tomatoes - in season and highly recommended. I don't think I've ever craved a tomato before and I am now. Its in ma blood or something.
Last thing: TSHIRT. I am going to have people sign a t-shirt that I will wear on my race day. I have a tendancy to drop my head when I get tired (while running) so I thought that maybe if I have encouraging messages or names of people, it would inspire me to keep going :-)
Also, shout out to Amanda Wilson for giving damn good massages. Thanks dude.
LarkFEST this weekend, yeah baby! Also Boarded up Action at Grand Street Community Arts. Busy week to get through, but the weekend will be hella rewarding :-)
It's been a while, has it not? I am sorry, anonymous readers, but I did give you fair warning. Take my lack of blogging as a good sign. It means that I am thouroughly enjoying myself, living life in the almost real world. I hope the same goes for you. Since I first began this blog I believe that my life has expanded and changed and I have learned so much about so many things. I have learned that procrastinating at work is as acceptable as procrastinating homework in college. I have learned that foodstamps are quite awesome and that I can eat like a king (or queen) on them. I have learned that there are chemicals in almost every product we use that can cause cancer and that I cant actually run 10 miles all at once, although I may not survive the next two days. And that is only the beginning of my mind expatiation...
It may please you to know that I am currently at my work site, writing this blog on my sites computer. Mainly because my computer at home is beyond slow. I wanted to come on and provide you, anonymous reader, with some links, books, and things that may be of interest to you...mostly because they are of interest to me:
Troy Bike Rescue: I plan on hitting up the learn and earn workshops...heeelllzz yeah!
Capital District Community Gardens
Troy Farmers Market
Democracy Now
Move On
Ishmael - the book I am reading now by Daniel Quinn...quite an interesting perspective
The Better World Handbook - don't know how much I trust the resources but a good place to start
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake - haven't actually started reading it yet but it looks cute and its for my work book club
Made some awesome apple crisp this past weekend. Emergency trip to the super market was necessary in order to purchase vanilla ice cream (food stamps were utilized). I also purchased tomatoes - in season and highly recommended. I don't think I've ever craved a tomato before and I am now. Its in ma blood or something.
Last thing: TSHIRT. I am going to have people sign a t-shirt that I will wear on my race day. I have a tendancy to drop my head when I get tired (while running) so I thought that maybe if I have encouraging messages or names of people, it would inspire me to keep going :-)
Also, shout out to Amanda Wilson for giving damn good massages. Thanks dude.
LarkFEST this weekend, yeah baby! Also Boarded up Action at Grand Street Community Arts. Busy week to get through, but the weekend will be hella rewarding :-)
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